Etymology of the Papacy

As you may or must have heard by now, Pope Benedict XVI has stepped down from office before his term was up. Or, to be more ambiguous, before his term was laid to rest alongside his cousin(?) (I’m not Catholic, so I don’t know the family structure between the Pope and ol’ JC.)

In light of this news, I thought it’d be beneficial to know the proper wordage for handling a world with multiple Popes.

A group of popes is known as a popery, similar to a nunnery or a nursery. If you’re talking about separate groups of popes, then you are speaking of disparate poperies.

When referring to a pope when there are other living single vessels of God hanging around the house, it’s best to refer to them by their papal name. However, sometimes casually you’ll just mention ‘the pope’ and unfortunately forcing a conversation regarding which one. For quick reference, until time sorts out the problem, here is your two-pope solution: Refer to the yet-to-be-named pope as ‘the new pope’ while former pope Benedict XVI can be referred to as the shadow pope or the sleepy pope. Once again, one simple snarky adjective can make a world of difference!

The history of the term popery is a fascinating one. Because as I’m sure has been mentioned, a pope hasn’t stepped down from his high chair since 1415. The world has changed a great deal in those nigh-on six centuries. Back in the early 15th Century, when dealing with the last papal resignation, the people of the time were still hesitant to bathe properly. So while there was a popery in Rome, each pope would don different perfumes to distinguish themselves. It is surprising how easy it is to mix up guys wearing pointy white hats (just ask the KKK!)

These different scents were very particular and known across Europe, even as far as the British Isles. England, home of my native tongue, was still heavily influenced by the Norman French ruling class at that time. And this is why to this day we have a French word and spelling for a bouquet of scents: potpourri.

Funny Links

Funny Stuff

I keep up with what I can in the world, but I rarely miss the funnies. Similar to The Daily Show, they’re easy enough doses to digest during busy days.

  • “Simple Instructions” is phenomenal. And the last line here is genius. I’m totally going to start using it.
  • “Atheist Pig” nails a long-held belief of mine: children are born pure and innocent, it’s the rest of life that can bring them down. Since having my own kids, this thought has only been reinforced.
  • “Hijinks Ensue” is a delightfully filthy, geeky comic. I relate to a few too many topics. But you can ask anyone, this is me.
  • Lastly isn’t a comic, it’s a podcast. “The Bugle: Audio Newspaper for a Visual World.” You should listen to it. It’s the tastiest bullshit you’ve ever partaken. Their episode 206 here early on contains one of my favorite lines in all Comedom:

    “But we’re back! The Dream Team is back together. Andy, we’re like Goering and Himmler: you might not like what we do, but you cannot fail to be impressed with the extent to which we’re getting away with it.”

Editor’s note: this is a fresh attempt to entirely compose and publish on my iPad.

Editor’s note 2: I wound up having to copy the text into my laptop’s browser. So close, but not quite there yet.

Simpsons Conventional Wisdom

Rewatching two decade old episodes of The Simpsons means I am privy to the culture of the mid nineties. And it is still amazing how little the world changes.

In this slice of wisdom, Bart’s elephant Stampy visits the RNC and the DNC.

Yup.

I feel that way still. I’ve never felt comfortable under the tent of either party. Since coming of age during the Bush Junior presidency, his failed economics and watching the Ailes and religious culture warriors hijacked the Republican Party has sent me furthest from their camp.

Democrats have become who I side with by default. Though they definitely are not my natural inclination, at least they are the party of inclusion. Supporting the 19th Amendment (women), the 1st Amendment (speech and secularity), the 4th Amendment (due process), the 2nd Amendment (bear arms), the Civil Rights Acts, etc. Though I’ll be the first to admit that Obama’s administration has fallen ridiculously short on the 4th. And I was plenty offended by the bullshit vote at the convention injecting God into the platform without a two-thirds majority. Yet still, I’ll take people who work with facts and reality and are willing to make a bargain.

The Democrats’ willingness to bargain and compromise and include all views does bite them in the ass, hence the inability to govern effectively. I know, because that’s how I try to operate. Everyone should have a say, everyone can get a little something from the deal. Trying to deal with those who reject science, reject compromise, reject a difference of opinion being allowed to exist. Failure is almost inevitable.

Let us never forget that our dear nation and home was built upon shitty, shitty compromises. A lot of them. At every turn. And still, here we are. Better off and further forward than we dreamed 30, 50, 100 years ago.

Of course, all this is really just an exaggerated form of my original caption to these:

Yup.

The Juice Box Box

I had gone to the store. Among other things, I picked up a box of juice boxes for the kids’ lunches.

A trick I recently learned: to open both ends of a box of drinks or cans, then you can gently move them all as a group into the fridge like loading the bullets from a stripper clip. It’s very slick.

I popped open the one end of the box. Halfway to success right there. At the other end is where I was met with resistance. The glue holding these flaps was more extensive than those on the first end.

So what does one do when facing increased opposition? Bring in reinforcements!

I drew my short utility knife, the suburban dirk if you will, from its sheath (my pocket) and prepared for battle.

Along the edge of the box was a perforation. A bullshit perforation to be certain. But it gave me a guideline to begin the operation.

The knife was in and I began a short sawing motion. About halfway through the edge, I had realized my error. The ruby fluid was slowly coming down the bottom of the box. I quickly got the box righted and in the sink, pulling the clean boxes of fruit punch from the opened, dry end of their container. All was cleaned up and none were the wiser.

Except the poor wounded juice box who wound up dead due to friendly fire.

Thus ends my tale of shame. And what better way to hide my idiocy than write it up on my blog? At least these moments lend themselves to enigmatic tweets.

A Little Bit Nuts

Cockamamie

That word means exactly what it sounds like, and yet, is not an onomatopoeia*.

Though, now that I’m over-thinking, cockamamie (which I originally spelled cockamamy, also acceptable, thank you) it sounds really terrible and painful. That poor chicken.

Cockamamy, just as much ridiculousness as you’d think.


*Onomatopoeia, however, does not spell how one would think it would. By one, I mean me. And by how one would think, that one must be erudite.

Actually, erudite isn’t the right word for that sentence. Except for the fact that my intuition believes that erudite and onomatopoeia start with the letter a.

How cockamamie is that?

Techbane

This, once again from XKCD, is a perfect example of my career:

Seriously, this is how my days can go. I find an issue that I Google in various syntax. Then going over it in different search engines. The same answer pops up. The same answer! WHY!? Every problem has an answer!

[PS, Techbane is going to be the title of a sequel in my techno-thriller series. No takesies!]