Learn From My Mistakes…

When people ask me what I’m up to for the weekend, my usual reply is, “Hopefully nothing.” No matter what, things always seem to pop up, be it shopping, chores, family event, someone getting sick, etc. So yes, I do hope not to have anything to do on any given weekend.
Driving from work with the lad, going to pick up the lass, my car stops. It just dies in the middle of the road. I lost power somewhere, but it’s odd. I can’t run the wipers, but the lights and radio are still on. In fact, I cannot even shift it into neutral in order to roll it off the side of the road. Luckily I wasn’t on the highway, but still somewhat scary with my boy in the car.

I’m just a block from a Toyota dealership, so I take the boy out of the car and walk him to the dealership, all while calling my father-in-law, the avid mechanic, to figure out how to at least get it into neutral and off the road. The lad is great the whole time, and I just plopped him in a big, cushy chair and had him stay put.

So as I’m heading back to the car, I see a cop pull up behind it. This is also while I was trying again to call my wife at work to let her know to head home to pick up the lass (who I was so very thankful was still playing at daycare rather than being a part of this situation). Barely realizing that my phone had picked up her voicemail, I’m running down the street trying to wave down the cop hopefully before he could call in a tow truck and a huge fine.

Luckily, I got advice from the FIL about the trick to manually release the shifter. So the cop, very kindly, pushed me down the road to the Toyota dealership. The FIL showed up a half hour later to hobble my car back together in order to get it into his garage.

What the issue was: one of the terminals on my battery had completely corroded the ground wire, disconnecting some but not all of my electronics, most notably the stuff heading to the engine. This would have been avoided ages ago had my car not had a bloody battery cover.

Before this car, I’d driven two pansy, early-nineties Corollas. Both had the same engine (or nearly), and had about 6 parts to them that could be all seen at a quick glance. So when I would regularly check my fluids and whatnot, I could see plain as day that there was a battery still in the car. A battery I’d jump-started many-a-times too (the cars didn’t beep when leaving the lights on upon exit; they were simple).

But now, nope. Big black cover my brain just ignores. So on the negative terminal there was a brilliant blue foam of battery acid built up that ate away the wire. Very, very thankfully it was a quick fix once in the garage and all is as good as new. Still, so much for an uneventful weekend. At least the lad got to spend the night at his cousin’s.

Moral of the story: just look at your battery when you check your oil and tires.

Second moral: When my car died, I had no idea whom to call. It didn’t seem like a 911 issue. Yet I was stuck in the road, not just pulled over and not working, so it was of more immediate importance to . So my next stop will be to pay the annual AAA fee and get that nifty little white card.

More Evidence I’m a Twit…

  • I wish I had a job where I needed to wear a suit each day. I look damn fine in suits. #
  • Breathe. #
  • So, that part is done. May I go to sleep now? #
  • "They didn't have Lord Huggington!?" #
  • @jzeller Want to grab a beer at some point? in reply to jzeller #
  • My daughter is blowing on her dry cereal as if it was hot. #
  • It's nearly midnight and I'm awake. Why oh why!? #
  • Hey Evan, Command + Return is NOT Shift + Return. Quit failing at keyboard shortcuts. #
  • Warming up some turkey and stuffing, a noun and a verb often used in reference to me. Wait… what? #
  • This cider is like drinking a PowerSauce Bar #
  • @studioaitken It's a Simpsons reference. Homer thinks he gains athletic prowess by eating an energy bar made from '6 types of apples'. in reply to studioaitken #
  • @shawnblanc What do you use in its stead? Anything? in reply to shawnblanc #
  • I wish I was allowed to put on headphones and ignore distractions sometimes. #
  • Rolling the dice… #
  • Image: Done! Stress level: still quite high. Cure: glass of red wine. #
  • @valecp Done and done. in reply to valecp #
  • Today at school, my son got into a very heated argument with another boy. It was over the spelling of ".com". My boy was right: one m. #
  • Dropbox FTW! #
  • My salsa attracts teenagers like wolves to a wounded deer. #
  • @jzeller Wha? in reply to jzeller #
  • @feliciaday Amen to that! in reply to feliciaday #
  • Mariachi Christmas music going on behind me. Life is grand. #
  • Oh, it's live. You betcha it is! #
  • And they just played for my little girl. She dances when they aren't looking. #
  • Almost 50% down! http://twitpic.com/sbqnp #
  • 2/3 down… http://twitpic.com/sbso5 #
  • Updated list of music Em likes: Simon & Garfunkel, Mariachi. Next to test? Disco! #
  • RT @babyrabies: For those of you who missed it yesterday, giving away a Dyson D25 on my blog! http://tinyurl.com/ybtpesm #
  • OMGOMGOMG, Jill of @babyrabies just replied to one of my tweets!! in reply to babyrabies #
  • @babyrabies Glad I can amuse =) in reply to babyrabies #
  • @babyrabies Ha! Can I at least take credit for being your first male follower? in reply to babyrabies #
  • @doctorstine 34 oz, 4 dollars. I win. Sorry mate. in reply to doctorstine #

Big Deal…

I’ve followed a blog called Baby Rabies almost since its inception. This mom writes well and speaks frankly, both things I can dig.
Now she got a chance to get a free Dyson D25 to try out, from the good folks at Dyson. And after the post, she could also offer a contest for a reader to win another free D25. Her review has all but convinced me to get my own regardless. But the thing that stops me is that price tag, plus our current Kenmore Progressive is actually a damn fine vacuum in its own right.

These are fun contests to join in for just being a reader. I actually won a pack of pens from The Pen Addict in a random contest. It was one of the only things I’ve ever won.

Here’s another thing I’d like to win, that’s for sure.

From Stephan Pastis…

From Stephan Pastis of Pearls Before Swine fame: Please Don’t Feed the Staci Bear

My wife Staci gave me a load of clothes to wash.

She told me to click the “heavy load” button and the “normal colors” button and then pull the little knob out.  As you might tell from the directions, this task did not lie comfortably in my wheelhouse.

Against all odds, the clothes got washed.  She thanked me.

It was a grand success.

That was about six months ago.

Since that fateful day, she has asked me to do it repeatedly.

She no longer thanks me.

Now, the only time I hear from her is if I don’t do it.  Then she gets mad at me.

I conclude from this that when favors are born, they are cute and small and everyone loves them.  Then time passes, and like a group of maturing salmon, they morph into hideously deformed adults called “expectations.”   This is a land where only bad things can happen.  Namely, you die from old age or a bear eats you.

My bear is named Staci.

Like all bears, she can run fast, swim and climb trees, so there is no escaping her.

I’ve learned a very valuable lesson from this:

Never help your spouse.

It’s like feeding the bears.

And it will not end well.

Now, I’m not saying this has any relevance to me or my life at all; I just thought it was funny writing. After all, my wife’s name is Michelle.

Ellington…

I can’t remember where I found it, but there’s a great tumblr site worth following: the impossible cool. Latest post is a picture of a very young George Harrison. Below is a recent favorite of mine for lots of reasons. You can also follow along on Twitter. (You all use Twitter now, right?)

Ellington.

Three Things…

Last night, the little lady was up many times coping with what has been diagnosed as a sinus infection. I stayed home with her today. Now it is late and, picking my priorities, am going to read a bit more of Harry Potter and go to sleep. So here are three things I’ve done today:
1. I strapped my sick daughter into her car seat six times today.

2. I vacuumed the lower floor of my house.

3. I removed a toothbrush from an unflushed toilet.