Snow

Snow.

Did you know that Eskimos have 600,000 words for snow? It’s true. I, like, totally looked that up just now.

Minnesotans have a few different words for them as well.

“Shit” comes to mind.

In less than a day, we went from no snow on the ground to 8.5″ being dropped. That’s after having rained yesterday afternoon. Not only is there a lovely layer of slush under everything, it means this was a warm storm and the snow is very wet. In the city, it was mostly rain and a couple of inches of snow. Up here, we got nailed hard enough that even the district called a Snow Day.

After sleeping in a bit, the neighborhood got up and began work to dig itself out. I and the boy were sweating through our gear pretty quickly. Once we got about 1/3 done, he was off and playing. 1/3 more of the driveway cleared, a neighbor loaned me his snowblower.

Upon handing the rumbling contraption off to me, his only words were, “This shit is too heavy.”

See!? It’s not just me. The natives do have many words for snow up here! Cultural Anthropology is so fascinating.

Point of order, however: this heavy, wet snow is some of the best. At least for kids. Why? You can reach right down and grab a handful of snow and it automatically forms into a functional snowball. Had I not wiped myself out shoveling, the games would have been on.

On like white on rice.

In a glass of milk.

On a paper plate.

In a snowstorm.

Woah!

This entire site has been a feast of “It’s been a while” I suppose. I had turned off the automatic Twitter posts because that’s about all this space had become. Well, since turning them back on, it apparently decided to catch up on all that was missed the past few months.

Oops.

That’s a lot of chaos to weed through. At least 6 months worth, now that I’m looking at it. Hopefully that won’t happen anymore.

And be warned, the puns are rather brutal. Ones spaced out over months are more tolerable. This is lots of punishment. I’d apologize, but I still believe I suffer as much as anyone else from them.

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-02-26

  • Cool days like this make Miles Davis playing Autumn Leaves slip into my mind. #
  • Loki raining down sulferic hellfire has nothing on having my son try on pants. #
  • For some reason, I'm still thinking I want a PS3. #
  • Finally got to work on an old MacBook Air today for a bit. Already hooked. #
  • It's a hard knock life.
    http://t.co/cxGgsiM #
  • Target audience, no? http://t.co/YZ3WVWV #
  • Woo! Applescript! #
  • I need to geek out a bit this weekend. What should I work on? #
  • It's a good night for cheap beer. #
  • I nearly started a grease fire in my grill. Is that bad? #
  • There can be only bun! #highlander #lasthotdog #
  • "Pish posh! Tut tut!" The reply: "Kingcocksmall!" #
  • @doctorstine Not a bad idea =) in reply to doctorstine #
  • @doctorstine Yeah but I'm two beers down, mate! (I've been grilling.) http://t.co/Y0u0pmJ in reply to doctorstine #
  • Win a pair of #StarWars @Moleskine Notebooks from @OfficeSupplyGee #giveaway http://t.co/lAF0W6M #
  • I wonder when the burn on my arm will finally go away. It's my departing gift from the pizza job. #
  • I just tried to open a website about Microsoft and my whole system crashed. Wow. #
  • @AznWifey In their faces: I do neither. in reply to AznWifey #
  • "There is no joy in Mudville…" #passiveaggressivetweets #
  • Little one managed to put her watch on by herself: "Oh, lookit, it's almost time! Austin, it's time!" #
  • One mug of tea down. I think it's going to be a long weekend. #
  • Know what I hate? Sillybands. Why do I hate them? Because my arms are hairy. #truestory #
  • Best. Picture. Ever. http://t.co/XVcMe2Z7 #
  • Um, uh oh? QT @asymmetricinfo: Disturbing question: in 1932, how foreseeable was 1939? in reply to asymmetricinfo #
  • Just counted in binary. There was pain. #
  • Wonder if it would annoy my coworkers if I started practicing my beatboxing. #
  • Why does my spine shiver every time I SSH in or out of another machine? #
  • There is a part of me that could really go for a glass of wine tonight. And actually, there are no other parts of me. #
  • Nobody needs Arby's. #
  • My wife loves me for some unbeknownst, unbelievable reason. #
  • I've been keeping a stubble-length beard for a little over a week now (not fully intentionally). Definitely ready for a clean shave again. #
  • Got the cards, made the deck, and even have 2d10 ready as a life counter… anticipation is building. #
  • Testing calendars by creating fake Dungeons & Dragons events. I dub these crit-tease. #
  • Mac Fact: TextEdit uses a mechanical pencil. #
  • Um, retro is totally in. QT @feliciaday: It's SO 2005 to have your thong sticking out about your jeans, right? in reply to feliciaday #
  • "Oh! The bridge is falling down, my favorite ladies." #
  • Sorry, I misheard: "Oh! The britches falling down; my favorite ladies!" Now it makes way more sense. #
  • Lower floor of my house is cleaned. A glass of wine is now well earned. #
  • Wow. Morning tea has never tasted better. #
  • The more I work in Outlook for Mac, the more willing I am to slam my head to my desk. #
  • I am far more interested in the Kindle Touch than the Fire. Does the KT have simple web browsing or, better, RSS reading capabilities? #
  • I have a file called "oldemail". Now, is it about Old Email or perhaps Ye Olde Mail? #
  • The answer: Old Email. The other would be referred to as Ye Olde Emailes. #english #history #
  • @AznWifey Agreed. Except instead of yoga, wine for me please! in reply to AznWifey #
  • "He's having dinner with someone, not going to an eat-over." #
  • “@AznWifey: @ebfryer didnt u know there are yoga and wine classes?” THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN! #
  • Daughter with fortune teller. "Pick a number. Okay, 1-2-3. Yours is horrible!" #
  • I want to learn to write in Markup. #
  • …and I totally meant Markdown. I love stress headaches. #
  • "Is it tomorrow today?" #
  • @jzeller Markdown for making plain text that converts to html or rich text. in reply to jzeller #
  • @doctorstine Everyday was yesterday, man. in reply to doctorstine #
  • You don't actually need to verbally respond to everything you see and read on your computer. It's not actually talking to you. #
  • I think I need to sit in a quiet, darkened room and watch Community. #
  • I think I'm going to play with upgrading my laptop to Lion this weekend. #
  • "It's a Frankenstein zombie that's a ghost and a squid." #
  • That previous tweet was the greatest thing ever uttered by one of my offspring. I couldn't be more proud. #
  • "Who calls it hooch!?" #
  • It's pronounced Nin-JAW-go?? That seems so wrong. #
  • I'm thinking I want a spaniel over a lab, just because of the size. #
  • Whenever I need to keep someone away from my favorite food, I yell, "NACHO CHEESE!" #
  • "So, what do you want to talk about? Hot dogs?" #
  • http://t.co/PwjBhXit #
  • No desk is complete without a pencil jar. #
  • I am filled with hoagy. #
  • Got a funny feelin' that my times are caught in a jar… #
  • I've managed to find the most disgusting tea ever. #
  • @jzeller Them's fightin' words, good sir! in reply to jzeller #
  • @alyankovic No I think you got what you wanted. Chewie cookies are way better. Crunchy kinds aren't as good. in reply to alyankovic #
  • My existential struggle: Adding the phrase "bada bing, bada boom" to an instructional document. #
  • It feels like a Chipotle kind of day. #
  • I have no idea what the hell it was I just saw. My wife tells me it was an Old Navy commercial. #
  • I don't have cable to watch #gopdebate so watching my twitter feed blow up instead. Way better, I think. #
  • @doctorstine I think so. I seized about halfway through. in reply to doctorstine #
  • I think I'm going to take my fountain pen to work. #
  • This is a really hard one. I should probably eat something legitimate if I'm going to get through the night. #
  • Predicting my daughter's future: being the frightened chick in cheesy horror movies. How do I know? She practices it. #
  • I miss my dog. And looking at puppies today didn't help. #
  • I'm inheriting a cat again. Here's hoping it goes better this time 'round. #
  • Is there anything better than a hot mug of tea on a cold day? I submit that there is not! #
  • I keep working on iPhones and now I don't think there will be an end to my will to leave T-mobile. Other carriers: make me an offer! #
  • I do feel kinda screwed, especially when I waited for the best device possible… http://t.co/m4wqKpdr #
  • "Rock and Roll!" followed by beating my senseless with a giant balloon. #
  • I wish I did graphics work, just so I could use Pixelmator more. #
  • @introvertedwife "New Man Glade: Make it smell like the before, not after, of beer and chili." in reply to introvertedwife #
  • The best candy pack for Halloween ever: http://t.co/C7FIrrCV #
  • @doctorstine I can only do one or two Reese's. M&Ms I can eat an unhealthy quantity of. in reply to doctorstine #
  • I think the cure for what ails me tonight will have to be wine and violence. #
  • Ah, showing my true faith: http://t.co/RKJg4kGK #
  • Got to introduce the boy to Nightmare Before Christmas. That movie is so stinkin' good, he loved it. #
  • I'm about ready to take the old Board of Education out of retirement. #
  • Kinda wish there was a snowstorm coming so I'd have an excuse to sit at home and watch Ghostbusters with the boy tonight. #
  • Deep voice: "Ho Ho Ho! I'm Ninja Santa Claus!" #
  • New Google Reader layout: nice. Very nicely done. Lots of crap gone. I dig it. #
  • Win a Nomadic Wise-Walker Backpack from @JetPens! Find out how: http://t.co/v5mBKZxz #
  • Just said by me: "Quit picking my pockets, you rogue!" #
  • @robdelaney That's gross. Can't you flip the mental and physical parts? in reply to robdelaney #
  • Somebody bring me a food-like substitute! #
  • I love my wife and kids. #
  • Time for Chinese and overdue Community watching. #
  • How can I spin that getting an iPhone will help me do my job more effectively? #
  • Have I mentioned lately how much I love my new work environment? Cheers everyone! #
  • I just realized that Halloween was on Monday. Holy crap. #
  • Sing it! "Chrisopher Olumbus come into Aaaammeeerrriiiccaaa!! 1492!! The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria was Chrisopher Olumbus' ships." #
  • I'm tempted to regrow my beard again. Just curious if there's any white in it yet. #
  • Turns out a 3 year old doesn't help you read up on Plato. I'm as surprised as you are. #
  • Time for a cuppa. #
  • Who will help me start up a Taqueria in Minneapolis? They're needed up here. #
  • Damn standard time. Stay with Daylight Saving Time so I might be able to see my kids outdoors after work. I don't need sun in the morning. #
  • Win a Nomadic Wise-Walker Shoulder Bag from @JetPens! Find out how: http://t.co/REn0J1UB #
  • I am full of Indian food. It's been ages. Lamb curry = teh yum. #
  • Happy anniversary to me!
    http://t.co/vttfpOvU #
  • Happy Anniversary to my lovely wife @mfryer !
    http://t.co/i9DdxyAF #
  • "Somehow my love for you overcomes the hate." #tipsformarriage #
  • Chocolate wings #tipsformarriage http://t.co/EnEAUQg8 #
  • Always make sure she gets the first and last bites. #tipsformarriage #
  • You're so divine, and you're mine, for all time. Speak in rhyme. #tipsformarriage #
  • Let her approve your tweets. #tipsformarriage #approved #
  • @valecp @mfryer Aw, big hugs for that. Thanks Val! in reply to valecp #
  • @dnosler Thanks man! When am I saving the date for you guys? in reply to dnosler #
  • @AznWifey @mfryer Thanks so much, Mare!! in reply to AznWifey #
  • I got a steel Sharpie pen last night. It looks like a huge bullet. I now have superior marksmanship. #
  • Another reason I hate the holidays: "Countdown to the 25 Days of Christmas." TV stations are counting down to the countdown for a MONTH! #
  • As Christmas invades October, that means we'll be spending 1/4 of the entire year in the Holidays. Christmas will be longer than Autumn! #
  • Archer makes me laugh. Hard. #
  • "Nobody worry! I got a rubber duckie!" #
  • Why do line numbers in a text editor make me feel more at ease? #
  • French fried onions don't count as a canned vegetable. 0 points for credit.
    http://t.co/OVPzMoSO #
  • via @AdrianneCurry: http://t.co/KUQYySzg Millions of oysters cried out… with laughter! #
  • I made spicy salsa. Victory!! #
  • "Who told you to put the balm on?" #
  • "Or Grumpy, or Sneezy. Or Sheldon. Or Sesame Street." #
  • I think I could eat a head of cattle. Not in front of them, that'd be silly and dangerous. No, as in I could eat an entire cattle. #
  • Is there ever a bad time for tea? #
  • "Don't do excessive breathing." "I like to breathe, Mom and Dad!" #
  • "Just need to take a swig." – My boy, no question. #
  • What is this, some kind of tube? #
  • Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. #
  • Bier schmeckt mir gut. Sehr gut. #
  • "You're not allowed to tweet in German!" "Warum nicht?" "No." #tipsformarriage #
  • I'm thankful for my wife, @mfryer. #
  • That's an awkward fucking turkey. #
  • Took the family to The #Muppets Awesome and sentimental. You must all go see it now. #
  • IT Support's hidden secret: we forget to plug in the power cord sometimes. Though usually only on computers we're servicing. #
  • I need to watch these GOP debates. They sound hilarious! #
  • Somebody get this fweakin' duck away from me! #
  • Paddlin' a canoe? Oh you better believe that's a paddlin'. #
  • Enter to win a TWSBI 540 Fountain Pen @OfficeSupplyGee #Giveaway Week http://t.co/l0bsCzG2 #
  • @valecp I have no. goddamn. idea. what any of that meant. And if you try to explain it, I will hate you. in reply to valecp #
  • Merry #Changmas #Community #
  • @johnmoe A small sausage sandwich with dipping sauce? Wee brat au jus? in reply to johnmoe #
  • Leftover enchilada chicken + tin of black beans = beauty. #
  • Oh Aristotle, where do I begin? #
  • "That sounds like a donkey joke to me." /drawl #
  • Who's up for Festivus? I'm ready to air some grievances. #
  • I feel like something should be cleaned. But I really don't want to move. At all. #
  • Comic Sans defining itself: "Like daffodils in motherfucking spring." http://t.co/YQFL0lnz #
  • @doctorstine They declare 'No Burn', you declare 'Shenanigans!' Get your brooms. in reply to doctorstine #
  • Got a tall one this year! http://t.co/SNaxWRMv #
  • "Dad, I cleaned my shelf in the garage!" Read as: "Dad, I dumped it all on the driveway in front of your car." #
  • Using "u're" in place of "your" is not shorter. And now you owe humanity, and the English language in particular, an apology. #
  • You really don't know how awful baked Lays chips are until you're eating them. #
  • How I know I've become my father: There is an obvious red spot on the top of my head where I bumped into something earlier this week. #
  • Why I think I'm cold even when the house isn't: because I got a haircut. #
  • A Fryer Christmas tradition: A child gets visibly injured on their face before the holiday, just in time for pictures. #
  • Happy Christmas Boy! http://t.co/AUbUOS7t #
  • Steaming pile of meat for Christmas dinner! http://t.co/kFeFzXTc #
  • Merry Christmas! http://t.co/qp5fGFCE #
  • @frizzychick Thanks! Happy Christmas to you too =) in reply to frizzychick #
  • "No way, Hosee!" #
  • I ate a baby carrot, so it's totally cool that I ate that small *coughfamilysize* bag of doritos. #
  • "All of the other reindeers, used to call their name. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny brain!" #
  • “@leannrose: 78 degrees in late December? Love it!” 35 degrees and no snow in December? Bullshit! #
  • Empty Dutch oven from best carnitas ever. Happy New Year! http://t.co/Qzh8j5jh #
  • Win a Pelle Leather Journal and Kaweco Sport Classic from @JetPens! Find out how: http://t.co/LtsE4oad #
  • Android phones should only be sold to those willing and able to poke around at every single setting possible. #
  • I now I have Toto stuck in my head. Curse you, Facebook Meme of the Day! #
  • I hate every conversation that ever started with the statement "This software sucks." #
  • "Dad, I'm still hungry. I'm starving still, actually." #
  • @doctorstine Yeah, but "This sucks" starts a debate that never goes past personal preference. in reply to doctorstine #
  • Has anyone, ever, had the name "Even"? No. No they have not. #
  • Ever use the term 'couple' when you should have used 'few' when writing? I disappoint myself when that happens. #
  • When you have to remind your child that they like bacon, you feel like a failure as a parent. #
  • @jzeller What sparked that comment? in reply to jzeller #
  • @JollyAndy Recommendation for a young comics reader (8 y.o.)? He's bright, so maybe something of an omnibus? Xmen, Batman, Spiderman realms? #
  • @JollyAndy Sounds like they're not too adult or gory-violent (smashing buildings = good fun). And the boy's on a big Percy Jackson kick. in reply to JollyAndy #
  • @JollyAndy Cool. Any chance these have some hard-bound sets? He rereads things constantly, paperback comics could be wrecked in a few weeks. in reply to JollyAndy #
  • I think we need to use the word 'crummy' more often instead of synonyms. #betterEnglish #
  • "Can you please smile somewhere else?" #
  • New rule: every day of needs to start with a different letter. Let's clean this nonsense up. After that, Wednesday is getting re-spelled. #
  • Thanks for breaking my cow lamp. #
  • Pub time. Like nap time. Necessary. #
  • You go, Brain! Way to remember your favorite cookie recipe! #
  • I wonder if the public will ever notice that Mitt Romney at Bain was Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, you know, without the change of heart? #
  • Why do my text files all have to have an empty line at the bottom? I don't understand this habit. #
  • I will reiterate: unless you are willing and able to dig into every setting on your Android phone, don't get one. #
  • Listening to my son and his friend play video games makes me glad there isn't a power drill next to me to stick in my ear. #
  • Need to entertain a kid for a day? http://t.co/rPZo6GaT #
  • Future birthday trip: Antarctica. Summertime Fun! #
  • When I walk down the hall to put something away is the only time my phone rings today? #
  • Just in time for the happiest hour ever! http://t.co/aeDJLUvD #
  • Back to Duck Duck Go as my search engine (ironically in Chrome) #
  • Get me some hay, 'cause I'm about to bail! #
  • Time to open a Vietnamese joint called "The PHO!?" #
  • "Pu-ae-ull" Good, what is the word? "Bucket!" #
  • http://t.co/Ra1iXYGM the cool. #
  • http://t.co/oslMxses the epic. "I <3 Nerds" #
  • Did you know that sleeping at your desk is frowned upon at work? High school didn't prepare me for anything! #
  • Dongle. #
  • Superbad Soundtrack. Hear it! #
  • Bring the funk! If you're missing a groove, get it on! #
  • If you're like me, wherever you are, you need a Simpsons Quote Buddy. Like safely crossing the street, it's how to navigate the world. #
  • I want to play with a lab in the snow. I have neither, and that fact depresses me. #
  • Go get a headband to keep your hair out of your food. http://t.co/KKe8yFdD #
  • I think I need tea. Yes, tea would be perfect. Chamomile. And Scotch. #
  • FYI: The sequel to Hamlet was The Village. #
  • I need a haircut. Anyone else need a haircut? I definitely need a haircut. #
  • I just spelled satellite with a double-t and single-l. I'll hand in my Nerd Cred card on my way home. #ashamed #
  • I just got a pity cookie, and I'm okay with that. #
  • Giant. Chocolate. Fish. #
  • @valecp Thanks so much! in reply to valecp #
  • I need to not say things. #
  • My life needs more beans and rice. #
  • KAHN! #
  • Socks from dryer = Victory! #
  • Officially, this is the first time VCR has been on Twitter. Did I win the Internet now? #
  • I just made the greatest hoagie that ever hoagied. Or is it hoaged? Totally hoaged it! #
  • I'm about to put a lot of research into a pun that nobody will read and fewer will understand. Excelsior! #

Emoticons

There seems to be an age break between making a smiley emoticon look like this 🙂 and like this (-: and I think it’s about age 20.

For me, the former is proper, the latter looks confusing and wrong.

Allow me to establish that my over-20 way, the :-), is most correct. Why? Because we are English speakers, descendants of Greek and Latin. We write and read from Left to Right, Top to Bottom. Therefore, starting on the left would be the best way of seeing something from the top.

For the latter (-:, it looks like it is starting with a frown, quite the opposite of its intended meaning. It requires a double-take and some backtracking to decipher.

Besides, if you go down the dark path, then your big happy grins :-D, turn into some kind of unibrow demon from the pits of Hades.

D-:

*shudder*

Hang One’s Head

To hang one’s head, is a lowering of your chin and your gaze, generally in shame. Right?

Does this strike you as an odd phrase? Would it not be better to droop one’s head? Hanging sounds an awful lot like a hanging. And outside of hangman, there’s been no good hanging. Ever.

Hang your head in shame! And pretend you have a hemp necktie!

And seriously, can hangman move onto a cool geometric shape or something? Not only would it be less morbid, it would also be more consistent.

So remember: it’s better to find a place to hang your hat than hang your head.

Muddle

Muddle.

muddle |ˈmədl|
noun [ usu. in sing. ]
an untidy and disorganized state or collection

New Oxford American Dictionary

I can appreciate this one. My mind’s been a muddle since… well I have to be nearing a year now, right?

It actually does stem from the word ‘mud’ from ages ago. And yet, perfectly apropos.

And it ends in that wonderful -ddle. Muddle, puddle, paddle, addle, fiddle, riddle, paradiddle, befuddle.

Brings to mind an old countryside world. Where a young man’s a muddle, the old man’s addled, and the kids are mucking about.