A Little Bit Nuts


That word means exactly what it sounds like, and yet, is not an onomatopoeia*.

Though, now that I’m over-thinking, cockamamie (which I originally spelled cockamamy, also acceptable, thank you) it sounds really terrible and painful. That poor chicken.

Cockamamy, just as much ridiculousness as you’d think.

*Onomatopoeia, however, does not spell how one would think it would. By one, I mean me. And by how one would think, that one must be erudite.

Actually, erudite isn’t the right word for that sentence. Except for the fact that my intuition believes that erudite and onomatopoeia start with the letter a.

How cockamamie is that?

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-03-25

  • Ever feel like GlaDOS is talking to you? #
  • @leannrose And you have plaid bedsheets, don't you? in reply to leannrose #
  • Hooray for drug laws that get between me and cold medicine. #
  • "I like corn." A simple, honest phrase that forces a mental double-take. #
  • I'm all out of clever quips today. Sorry, folks. #
  • Save money on antibiotics for your sinus infections and just use hot sauce. #selfhelptips #
  • Stuffing my face with pizza at the Hunger Games. I feel like I'm from the Capitol! #
  • I liken my 8-year-old playing Wii to a drunken monkey driving a car. Only far less fun or funny. #
  • Okay, now I want to see a drunken monkey drive a car. #
  • "Holy snap!" #
  • "Worthless creature! You are no value to society. Get a job!" – me to mosquito. #

Quick Thoughts

First, from my daughter’s brain:


Emily wanted to write a letter to her friend Elizabeth. The top is her attempt to sound out the name. Then she asked me to write out the name below, so I did to give her an example. Last, she copied it herself. She turns 4 next week. Kinda cool there.

Some links:

Emily’s schoolwork. She’s big into cartography. And posing.


The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-03-04

  • Yes I had a sip of beer at 10 in the morning. Why? Because the rest is in my carnitas. BAM! #
  • "Hi, Father." "Hello, Daughter." #
  • "Would you look out for one another? I don't want anybody bloody or bludgeoned." – Things I say to children #
  • "You are the dollar guy that gives us money." #
  • I think the fact my glasses just make things less blurry rather than able to see in the dark is #bullshit #
  • It's #Oscar night? Time to ignore Twitter for the next 24 hours. #
  • I used keyboard swiping on my phone to write 'dinner'. It came up with 'communist'. Damn close, technology! #
  • "Yes, I certainly do!

    "I have to go now. My planet needs me." #

  • "Where'd those come from?" "They were hanging on my door log." #
  • "Mom, that's you. You look pretty. Dad, that's you looking frusterated." #



I think we’re more familiar with the term dastardly. I assume in conjunction with other descriptions of Snidely Whiplash. After all, I’m certain that everyone else has the same points of reference in life as I.

[If what I just said had no spark of recognition for you, I shall ask you to leave the room. And don’t let the doorknob fracture your fairytale on the way out.]

My bigger point: there is also the root word dastard. And it is quite what you would think. It is a goofy spelling of bastard, generally the d coming from dullard or dotty. There are other definitions of sneaking and cowardice attached. Perhaps as a smashing of devious bastard would be a way to look at it?

But I think dastard would do well to come back into our standard spoken lexicon. Bastard has its normal connotations of being a child born out of wedlock, and while that’s not really a worthwhile term in the modern age, it’s also considered something of a curse. Even though it generally means stupid jerk or asshole, I think we’re better off moving beyond it. Time for the revenge of the dastard!

There is another, slightly more esoteric use of the word, I suppose you could say. That of a bastard item or idea as an adulterated or mutated form of an original thing. This berry beer is like a bastard ale. Or, Reese’s Pieces are the bastard child of a peanut butter cup and M&Ms. Or, if you can stand the Dungeons and Dragons reference: a bastard sword (a longsword with an extended handle to use one- or two-handed.

In fact, it turns out dastard is a bastard word.

Who’d’ve thunk?