The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-04-29

  • "I wanna have Dog Breath" in a sing-song voice. #
  • "No! 2 + 2 makes 41 plus the road! It's true Dad, it really is true." #
  • My brows have been furled too much today. I think my head hurts because of doing that. #
  • There's a big rabbit in my yard that my cat needs to kill. Right. Now. #
  • Be polite when passing snacks and always say, "Cracker, please!" #
  • Microsoft Exchange This! #
  • @JollyAndy Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol. in reply to JollyAndy #
  • "Yeah, I don't want you to squeak like a dolphin 'cause it sounds like a bird." #
  • I need to know more phrases in German to yell at my computers. #
  • Lousy power of triangles! #
  • Holding the cousin. #
  • @TheTweetOfGod Just like communism! in reply to TheTweetOfGod #

Crossing a Thin Line

The line between diplomacy and cowardice is much finer than one would imagine. I walk it daily. We all do. It’s the grey area between what we honestly think and what we actually say. But my wife recently broke down such a barrier in her life. I was scared for her while still being so proud.
She admitted her apostasy to her devout, Catholic family. I never saw it coming. I knew her feelings about the church itself and its tenets, but all the way to disbelief in the divine? That was entirely through her own contemplation.

So I should move forward as well. One would think I’d have less inhibition about such things, as I have never been a believer. I think I believed in Santa Claus longer and more deeply than a god. After all, at least I had evidence of that once a year.

Yet for years my tongue has been bitten. I went through hoops for the sake of love. I lied when asked to swear oaths regarding Jesus and Satan in order to keep the peace with those I love and care about.

It’s a fine line between diplomacy and cowardice. All those nods and acknowledgements, even when my children started repeating things they’d been told that contradicted fully what is known about the world. I was as diplomatic as I could be.

And every moment of it I felt like a searing coward.

I have read stories of people coming out atheist and being ostracized by their families. Parents, siblings, friends, all suddenly turning on a person they loved unconditionally moments before. My wife is still waiting for the other shoe to drop and we continually prepare for serious discussions over what is passed through our children.

By all accounts, I should have the easiest time admitting how I see the world. I have never believed in God beyond any general contemplation on divinity. To say it more clearly for the majority to understand: I have never been a Christian. And I despise having to say as much. Not believing is the default.

We’re not born with a belief in anything. Early life is all food, sleep, and bitching about the lack of both. Even as adults, that’s a solid 80% of what we have going on as well.

I loathe defining myself as a negative. Hi, I’m Evan, and I’m not a German. Well, I have ancestors who were. And I learned a bit of German language… Yadda, yadda, yadda.

It’s ridiculous. I’m Evan, and I’m an American. I’m Humanist as well. People are naturally kind and open; it is other factors that turn them dark. We’ve developed amazing tools and art, and more tools and more art, all to the benefit of humanity. Things aren’t perfectly good and balanced now, but they’re progressively getting better. And knowing my own limitations and mortality is a powerful driver for making what comes after my death better. For that, for all our faults, I am humanist.

Most importantly, though, I am Evan.

And I will let diplomacy be the key to my honesty.

Kids Fix – ‘Twas a Holiday

More pictures, from the current month even!
From April 8th.

Happy Easter! Have a scimitar.

Good plan on the Easter Bunny’s part. Thanks dude.

And a Happy Easter from Tyrone Biggums, Esq.


Chocolate = win. Always.

So’s that smile.

Time to rock some cool shades from the goodie basket.

Lookin’ good.

But some people are far too cool for the room.


The kids were on fire with the expressions that morning. Here’s Emily posing for her Senior Portrait.

Yup, more leg than Dad would approve of there, at any age.

Actually, I could see him doing this for a portrait too.

While the lad got up rather early and rampaged the house, we did get some shots of the Lass hunting eggs.



Then later that day, on to Grandma’s for lunch and more fun.

I don’t remember what she’s looking at, but she’s definitely a doll.

Cousins. I’m still amazed how alike they look.

Auntie with the brand new baby cousin.


Now counting, but not quite all there.

Oh the expressions.

And the hunt continues…


And the look I get when taking pictures of her.

Or saying something to the kids.

Or saying anything at all.

Or breathing.

I do love her so!


The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-04-22

  • "I smell pictures!" #
  • @MPRweather I got up to dime size hail in Andover. #
  • Nothing like tinkering to get the juices flowing. #
  • When I refer to "your phone", my hand gesture is to move my thumb up and down. Well played, Apple. #
  • You should always run before you get in trouble, not after. #
  • @leannrose No. It's akin to farting while walking down the sidewalk. You didn't fart ON them 5 steps back, they walked into it incidentally. in reply to leannrose #
  • I got more lime on me than my burrito. I am officially delicious. #
  • Cousin left during a nap. #

Kids Fix – Birthdays

Once again, long overdue. Beyond a simple blog post, here’s a big reason anyone comes here.
However, now that Instagram is out for Android, M and I are using it. Way easier to share pictures. I tag mine into Twitter, M goes to Facebook. Or you can check out our feeds directly on your phone. It’s a free app. If you want our account names, just ask directly.

From February 12th.

I turned 29. And this is my family.


From March 12th.

The almost birthday girl. Posing. Kinda cute. Striped leggings.


Then she turned four.


No way it’s been that long. She was just a wee thing barely walking, last I checked. And sporting a Maggie Simpson hairdo.

From March 17th, 2012.

Hair as long as can be. Smile that overshadows Helen of Troy.

And talks. Constantly.

I’d be annoyed, but I think it’s awesome.

These two pictures amuse me. She’s just digging on her new iPad-like toy called a Leap Pad.

Woah, wait a second! That has a screen!?

Instant big brother.

You should push that. And that. Here let me do this. This is how it works. And go here.

It’s okay. She’s stoked to have a birthday. We do have to sport the Irish Green bows.

And cake!

She’d been asking for Hello Kitty for a couple of months at least by this point.

Out they go. She used to need help…

That’s a four-year-old Emily Rose.


She’s my little girl and she’s perfect. I love how she’s growing up. I love every day being more and more and more. She can do so much, understand so much. The world keeps opening up so big and I love watching her mind decipher it all.

It’s great.

The other day, she started saying 3 correctly. Before that, it was One, Two, Free, Four, Five. I’d been correcting her occasionally, knowing she’d get it eventually. And suddenly, she has. She can’t say it wrong anymore. One, Two, Three, Four, Five. Exactly perfect.

But now I miss the Free. She’ll never be Free again. She’s Four now.

Every moment is a whole world that never comes back. We mortals should cherish them more.

At least I get to remember her being Free, no matter how old she gets.


[And at least she still skips Thirteen when counting. Here’s hoping that sticks.]

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-04-15

  • Spring girl in a Spring world. #
  • The kids wanted to start the day with Tower of Power. I'm raisin' 'em right! #
  • I'm becoming Minnesotan… "You better Wisconrepent for your Wisconsins!" #
  • "THAT'S IT! I'M HAVING A FIT!!!" "It's not funny! Do you know what I'm saying!? I'm having a fit!" #
  • Did you just call me "Bedazzled"? #
  • @jzeller but it looks like it feasts on your data something fierce… in reply to jzeller #
  • @jzeller It looks like it checks out your items and automatically returns ads for buying what you put on there. in reply to jzeller #
  • @jzeller I thought it auto-recommends places to buy what you put in. It's a feature, not tacked on style. Very clever. in reply to jzeller #
  • @jzeller Yeah, that's definitely a personal choice. I'm not a fan of being data-mined. in reply to jzeller #
  • The beginning of a mint is far superior to the end of a mint. #
  • Disconcerting: when the tow truck has its check engine light on. #
  • Tinkerin' #
  • Blue skies, smilin' at me… #
  • @doctorstine @mfryer Dr S, you're right. M, you're on! in reply to doctorstine #

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-04-08

  • Every time I send a company-wide message with a typo, I die a little inside. "Haste makes waist" holds true, I guess. #
  • Play the F in G #
  • Finished playing cards. #
  • Woohoo! I got Chrome working for me again. Sorry Firefox, you're just not cutting it, especially your Evernote web clipper. #
  • My next office will be at the top of a set of stairs and behind a locked door. Password to get in? Hum the melody. #
  • I. Need. Steak. #
  • She does actually love me, I swear! #
  • This week's #nbccommunity was the greatest thing ever documented. If you didn't watch, you are a lesser being worthy of derision. #
  • I got Instagram on my Android before I got an OS update. Still waiting on the OS update. Yeah. #
  • @doctorstine I completely concur with that. Yet to find winning asada out here. in reply to doctorstine #
  • Minneapolis #
  • I am a Muppet of a Man. #

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-04-01

  • @leannrose I've never been more proud to be your big brother! RT "Someone should open an ice cream shop called Legend Dairy." in reply to leannrose #
  • I think my kids are officially conspiring against me. If I go into Twitter silence, there's been a Fryer coup d'état. Best to just flee. #
  • If being a writer involves writing puns using the Dairy Queen menu, I want in. #
  • Sonorous Synonymity. #
  • "We need to go to Fun Fest Park. It's very far away. In Mexicota!" #
  • Time to pwn Thursday night! #BigCHANGTheory8pmNBC is the way to go! #TeamAbed  #TeamTroy #
  • Enter to win a pair of limited edition LEGO Moleskine Notebooks #OfficeSupplyGeek @LEGO_Group #
  • We need a catchy phrase for recharging akin to "Be Kind, Rewind." "Don't be a bitch, recharging's a cinch!" Only, you know, better. #
  • Ever get into bed and realize you left your book across the room? Yeah, I try to use the Force too. #