The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-08-26

  • @RoseCardPat Yeah, well, they shouldn't have taken it!! in reply to RoseCardPat #
  • I need a hobby for Sunday afternoons. #
  • Another reason to miss California? Better time zone for watching baseball. Lousy giant continent… #sfgiants #
  • “@AlyssaRosenberg: Best Obama surrogate ever:” Spot. Fucking. On. #
  • Here’s your hand basket. I think you know where you’re going next. #
  • Two bits of lettuce topped with a whole chicken breast and what can best be described as a wad of cheese is a nice healthy salad, right? #
  • Replyin’ to email #likeaboss #
  • Unimpressed tech guy is unimpressed. #
  • My wife and I pet a few rescue dogs up for adoption during lunch. We now have a real problem on our hands, ‘cause we gotta get one! #
  • @doctorstine I agree. I agree so much it hurts. in reply to doctorstine #
  • Tonight: Tequila and Game of Thrones. Take the tiniest sip when “winter is coming” is said. Pass out halfway through second episode. #
  • To arms! To arms! I have two arms!! #

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-08-19

  • Sunburn has reached final stages. Am I now shedding or molting? #
  • @doctorstine I think that applies a much more kickass connotation than I’m worth. in reply to doctorstine #
  • @doctorstine Ash-hole white, that’s me! in reply to doctorstine #
  • @doctorstine Eh, not freckled enough. English pasty? in reply to doctorstine #
  • “@RoseCardPat: Mom and the twins” And their pet ducks! #
  • “@RoseCardPat: Mom and the twins” And how the hell did I not know my own mom was on Instagram!? #
  • That’s a bad Internet! Never drop my connection during the Daily Show! Bad! Don’t make me roll up the Huffington Post and whack your nose. #
  • I think I now have more ice cream scoops than spoons. #progress #Romney2012 #
  • Somebody took my highlighter while I was on vacation.

    There. Will. Be. Blood! #

  • I'm not dealing with a cat jumping in the oven. It would smell terrible! #
  • Am I supposed to fear my wife holding a sharp object? I’m not, right? Am I? This is a healthy feeling, I think. #
  • I just had an Arby’s wheel thrown at me. Solve that equation. #
  • @johnmoe There’s a not insignificant number of racist states in that list too. in reply to johnmoe #
  • The dream: an office with a flickering neon sign saying “The Jazz Hole” #
  • "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chicken Poodle." "Chicken Poodle who?" "Chicken Poodle I love you!" #
  • "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Bread." "Bread who?" "Bread I have to go potty real bad!" #
  • Still love 99 Red Balloons. Goldfinger does a great version of it. #
  • I’m so aloof that I didn’t even realize to wave my arms in the air as if I didn’t care. #
  • Did you know that if you’re gay, you’re legally allowed to call 911 for a fashion emergency? It’s true. They send over a fabulance. #pun #
  • “Enough plucking out each other’s eyes!” #

We’re, We Are, Annoyed by Punctuation

Driving home today, I saw a billboard. And that billboard took a wrench to my left hemisphere and started twisting it around.
We’re Undefeatable.
We are Vikings.

I don’t know if Undefeatable was the top word. Or if it’s a word at all. Not that it matters.

The “we’re” vs “we are” kills me. It’s two different rhythms and two different feelings. And using both makes it lopsided and asymmetrical. “We are” is much more declarative and powerful.

I think I get that the second statement was supposed to be the dominant of the two. But there are other ways to do it.

We are Undefeatable.
We are Vikings.

Shift things around.

We are Undefeatable.

We are Vikings.


Give them different sizes.

We are Undefeatable.

We are Vikings.


“We’re Undefeatable” sounds weak and whiny. It lacks the 1-2-3 of We-Are-Vikings.

So the main lines of this promotion? Swing and a miss. Which is saying something, considering this was promoting football.

Worst. Billboard. Ever.

1. 2. 3.

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-08-12

The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-08-05

  • Just replaced the siding and found our deck was installed poorly. Now my fridge is out. Am I #winning yet? #
  • @doctorstine damn straight you will! in reply to doctorstine #
  • Bonzaiiiii!!! #
  • Mosquitoes, mosquianlkes, mosquilegs; they're biting me everywhere! #
  • Emoticon: a depressed Transformer. #
  • #cute is my four year old can snap her fingers. #evil is that things happen when she does. #
  • “@jbouie: The Hardest Word to Translate (is a Pretty Awesome Word):” Books are filled trying to say this one word! #
  • "I'm not bitter; I'm more of a vinaigrette." Yeah. Salad dressing pun. I went there. #
  • Did you ever hear the legend of the Guy on a Buffalo? You have now. @leannrose, the ball's in your court. #
  • Goddamnit, my talents are totally wasted on… oops, sorry I added a word on the end there. #
  • @AdrianneCurry Damn straight! And: aww, that hurts my insides! in reply to AdrianneCurry #
  • Every mammal in my house is meowing at me. No joke here, this is fucking happening. #
  • I just stepped outside and a bunch of hot air blew up my skirt. Usually it's going the other way. #
  • @jzeller even if it's pleated? in reply to jzeller #
  • Oh goddamnit! Two hours in only to have the fucking replacement part break. #
  • Woah, I'm on the east end of Ohio. How did that happen? #
  • I made a long and now outdated joke here: #
  • All guys who do sound checks have ponytails. #fact #
  • Lookin' good, dahling! #
  • The surprising thing today: axe throwing is boring. #

Mitt the Mensch

As many may already have heard, Mitt Romney’s first international tour as presidential nominee did not go smoothly. Of particular note was his comment on Israel’s success being, in part, due to its culture.
This statement was obviously meant as a compliment, not a back-handed jab at the Palestinian people. All he was saying was that the Israeli people are doing well because their culture is strongly conservative when it comes to money. There is no ill will meant at others, Mitt was just saying that he appreciated how well Israel has haggled for its defense technology and how they account their tax policies.

Maybe Israel could even settle down its foreign affairs and start a nice, mutually beneficial trade relationship with another young country. You know, those recently independent Eastern European countries are a really nice people.