From the Inside Out…

This whole week has been nothing but hard on me. It seemed that every time I got up in the morning, I did my best to at least think to myself, “It’s a new day. Chances are it can’t be crappier than yesterday.” Well, thanks to that jerk Murphy, each day was succeeded by stuff even more potent than the previous. But, at least, the week ended on a wonderful note.
I did some decent work on Friday and got to a good stopping point about thirty minutes before I would normally take off. So since my boss didn’t mind, I headed out before all the kids got out. I went and picked up Austin early, which surprised his teachers a bit. However, since he had been telling everyone all day that he was going to a big surprise that night with Mommy and Daddy, they weren’t totally thrown off.

He and I did an early dinner, since we didn’t know how long the evening would take us. We tried the new Taco Del Mar place across the road from his daycare. It was fine enough, but nothing to write home about. For the same money, I’d rather have a much higher quality Chipotle burrito.

I tell you, forcing yourself to be the kind of parent that doesn’t give in to whining pays off in spades, and not just for the sake of the child actually being happier and more satisfied with what life gives them. I got us a cookie to split (since I knew he’d just had a sugary snack at school). When I said that we would split it, I broke off part of it and handed it to him. At this, he completely cracked. He just started bawling out of nowhere and whining that he only wanted a whole cookie. Well, all I had to mention was that it was the cookie he was sharing with me, or no cookie at all. There was a bit of an ‘oh yeah’ moment with him where he then stopped and reassessed the situation. I gave him a napkin to wipe his tears and boogers, and he ate his cookie and was happy to be chatting with me at the tall table that had pepper lights hanging from the straw umbrella. Nothing to it, and we’re all happy.

Austin and I went home and I wound up dozing off for a bit (lack of sleep has also been part of the week’s crumminess) while we waited for Mommy to get home.  M arrived and woke me up.  At that, we were on our way out the door.  As we were driving to our destination, Austin was doing his darnedest to guess what we were going to see.  Is it a present?  No.  Is it a movie?  Nope.  Is it the baby?  Well…

He naturally meant to ask is the baby coming out now, as he has done many times already.  But we finally told him as we were entering the building that no, the baby wasn’t coming out, but we are going to see it!  He has a great expression of excitement and surprise where his eyes go wide.

The three of us wound up in a dimly lit room, looking at a pair of screens, one for the ultrasound specialist, one angled on the ceiling for the mommy to be.  It was fun and interesting, far more so than our first one.  The first ones were us trying to see if there was anything at all.  My favorite is still the first time we ever heard that little heart pounding away.

But this time, Austin was staring for a time with rapt attention at a black and white screen flickering with the image of his baby sibling wiggling in Mommy’s tummy.  It was grand.  I amazed at seeing this actual spine and skull show up, then seeing the baby stick its thumb in its mouth.  M’s been trying to get me to feel it move around for a few weeks now, but to this day I haven’t felt a single flutter or bump to my hand.  Still, at least now I see what exactly she has got going on inside her.

Parts of it were odd.  The scanning through the skull and the eye sockets was a tad creepy.  I know it’s to check on things, but still.  I want to see what color my baby’s eyes are and to have them look at me, not to check out the ocular cavity as though I’m watching some horror flick.  There was also the feeling that it could have all been fake.  All ultrasounds, barring those with multiples or disorders, look alike.  It looked just like Austin’s old ones, or anything you’d see on television.  And even though it was going on right there, and I knew it was real and live, it was still on a screen, which usually lends itself to some detachment.

I’ll do my best to get some scanned and posted up.  There are a couple great ones.  I loved seeing the fingers and the feet.  Those little fingers that will be gripping my finger, hugging its big brother, petting the cats, and getting into endless trouble.  It is going to be grand.

Ta~