The @ebfryer Twitter Feed for 2012-08-19

  • Sunburn has reached final stages. Am I now shedding or molting? #
  • @doctorstine I think that applies a much more kickass connotation than I’m worth. in reply to doctorstine #
  • @doctorstine Ash-hole white, that’s me! in reply to doctorstine #
  • @doctorstine Eh, not freckled enough. English pasty? in reply to doctorstine #
  • “@RoseCardPat: Mom and the twins http://t.co/zl0Ngro6” And their pet ducks! #
  • “@RoseCardPat: Mom and the twins http://t.co/zl0Ngro6” And how the hell did I not know my own mom was on Instagram!? #
  • That’s a bad Internet! Never drop my connection during the Daily Show! Bad! Don’t make me roll up the Huffington Post and whack your nose. #
  • I think I now have more ice cream scoops than spoons. #progress #Romney2012 #
  • Somebody took my highlighter while I was on vacation.

    There. Will. Be. Blood! #

  • I'm not dealing with a cat jumping in the oven. It would smell terrible! #
  • Am I supposed to fear my wife holding a sharp object? I’m not, right? Am I? This is a healthy feeling, I think. #
  • I just had an Arby’s wheel thrown at me. Solve that equation. #
  • @johnmoe There’s a not insignificant number of racist states in that list too. in reply to johnmoe #
  • The dream: an office with a flickering neon sign saying “The Jazz Hole” #
  • "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chicken Poodle." "Chicken Poodle who?" "Chicken Poodle I love you!" #
  • "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Bread." "Bread who?" "Bread I have to go potty real bad!" #
  • Still love 99 Red Balloons. Goldfinger does a great version of it. #
  • I’m so aloof that I didn’t even realize to wave my arms in the air as if I didn’t care. #
  • Did you know that if you’re gay, you’re legally allowed to call 911 for a fashion emergency? It’s true. They send over a fabulance. #pun #
  • “Enough plucking out each other’s eyes!” #